The Stunned Value Extractor Show

This promotional photograph was issued yesterday for the premiere of another boffo Broadway hit. The spotlight hit the rising curtain and... Oooo! There they all were! The star-studded cast of that spectacular production We're All Really Upset About All This and We'll Really Take Care of Business This Time, Really.


An historic week on Wall Street has been capped by this entertainment extravaganza. Hey, it's the weekend! They're all there, the SEC chairman, Treasury secretary, and Fed chairman, deftly playing the parts of all the king's men working valiantly to put Humpty together again. Of course headlining the event are the most powerful legislative leaders, center stage, representing Humpty.

Humpty. As in Humpty Dumpty your average Joe and Josephine American, proud World inhabitants.

The story so far: Poor poor Humpty needs to be rescued from his toxic behavior. Because Humpty is so prone to fall off walls, and to push others off walls too, he definitely needs the Caesarian horde to frequently prop him up. The newest wall is called "Resolution Trust Corporation." A wonderful piece of set construction I must say.

I can't wait until the toxic hurricane reaches category eight! Then the most fabulous part of the show occurs: the helicopter (what a set piece that is!) drops gobs and gobs and gobs of rectangular greenish papers on all the stars (including Humpty!) in gargantuan piles reaching to the rafters of the theater. The stars smothered in papers! Gobs and gobs and gobs of papers that look really neat, spilling into the audience! Everyone crushed under the weight of papers that are really neat looking!

What a show!

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